Survivor: Public School Classroom

Have you heard about the latest planned "Survivor" show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped on an island for 6 weeks with a copy of a school district's curriculum and 28 kids each.

Each class has 5 learning-disabled children, 3 with ADHD, 1 gifted child, and 2 who speak limited English. There are also 3 students who are severe behavior problems. There is no access to vendors who want to take them to lunch at the downtown Hilton, and there's not enough time to go there, anyway.

Each business person must complete color-coded weekly lesson plans according to state standards, modify for each student according to IEP, teach the kids, handle misconduct, correct homework, compute grades, export grades, then input grades one at a time on Mrs. Smith's computer because grades didn't export, have conferences with all parents, attend faculty meetings, implement character education, coach or sponsor at least one activity outside of school, maintain an endless supply of pencils and Kleenex, and provide a stimulating learning environment at all times.

The business people will not have clerical or secretarial service to help with any of this. They only have access to the golf course and their cell phones after school and on the weekends after all papers have been graded and lessons are prepped for the next day. There is only one golf course, and they can't afford it on their new salary, anyway.

The business people must continually advance their education on their own time, which they must pay for themselves either by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with a lot of money. They must attend workshops, drill the classes for fires and shooting attacks, tutor those who are behind, keep records on all, not let it show when they're having a bad day, incorporate reading, writing and arithmetic with science, social studies, drug education, art, music, phys. ed., health, and sex ed. every day and get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the Stanford Achievement Test, version 9.

The principals and parents vote them off the island based on the standardized test scores of their students.

The winner gets to go back to his/her corporate job!