Kids say the darndest things...

• You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let people know they're there.
• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things, like when people forget to put the top on.
• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.
• Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.
• When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• The future of "I give" is "I take."
• The parts of speech are lungs and air.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
• Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
• The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
• Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
• The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
• We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
• A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
• One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
• To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
• The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
• The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
• The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
• Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
• A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.