Dear Mr. Cameron:

As a courtesy, we are sending you a copy of this letter we recently
wrote your 15-year-old daughter in response to a query we received 
from her. 

"Dear Ms Cameron:

Thank you for your letter. Yes, we are pleased to report, your father's
old high school is still standing and our library was able to find
yearbooks dating back to his graduation. In fact, a few teachers even
remember your father, which I will get to in a moment. 

In answer to your first question: In every picture existing of your
father, he is well shod, wearing what I believe were called "earth
shoes" back then. Also, the weather here is moderate with any snow
generally lasting from December to March, hardly the entire school
year. Thus, his descriptions of how he "struggled to school" in the
mornings, do as you suggested seem a bit exaggerated. In fact, our bus
logs are (remarkably) still intact and show that not only was your
father a registered user, but that his parents paid an extra ten
dollars a month for door to door delivery.

I am sure there were days your father was "sharply dressed" as he put
it. However, in every single picture I was able to uncover, he was
wearing the same thing: bell bottom jeans with with white strings
trailing onto the floor, horizontal rents in the knees, and no belt
buckle. His T-shirt has a message on it that is easily communicated
with hand gestures. His hair hangs below his shoulders and looks as if
it were exposed to a lot of wind. Perhaps he rode the bus with the
windows down. 

As to academics and "concentrating on the basics", one must remember
the times: the "basics" back then may very well have embraced some of
your father's elective subjects, which included "Personal Citizenship,"
"Ecology", and one which apparently was called "Relevance". We have no
record of what if anything was taught in these classes. What records we
do have show that your father did indeed take Geometry, just as he
claims. In fact, he took it his sophomore year, repeated it his junior
year, and repeated the course again his senior year - Geometry was
required for graduation. 

Now, as to Mr. Muggins, who had your father in a class called "Problems
of Modern Relationships", Mr. Muggins does not wish to dispute the
claim that your father always had his homework done early, he merely
wants to point out that no matter when it was done, it was always late.
In fact, he remembers your father as having the most outrageous excuses
for not being prepared, including having to evacuate his house because
it was infected with the China Syndrome. 

Your father was not, sad to say, President of the Student Council.
Perhaps he is confusing student government with a social group called
"The Slackers" which was as Mr. Muggins recalls, a group of boys who
sat in the hallways and made loud groaning noises when an attractive
girl passed by. Your father was assistant vice president of this club
and to our knowledge the only past member not currently serving time in
a federal penitentiary. 

One thing IS completely verifiable: Your father's name is, indeed,
carved above the door to the school. Please be advised now that we have
noticed it, it will be sanded out and refinished at a cost of $300. We
would appreciate it if your father would pay for the damages without
our having to engage a lawyer. 

The honor roll to which he referred to is not hanging over the door,
but on a wall outside my office. I will leave unanswered the question
of whether his name is on it. 

Thank you very much for your letter which we found most amusing. 
Mr. Muggins sends his regards to your father.