COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY    

State-of-the-art - The computer you want, but can't afford.

Obsolete - The computer you own.

Nanosecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to
 become obsolete.

GUI (pronounced "gooey") - What your computer becomes after spilling
 your beverage on it. 

Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse - An advanced input device to generate computer errors easier.

Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a state-of-the-art
computer.

Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at
home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update - Quickest method of trashing ALL of your software.