When the end of the world does arrive, how do you suppose the 
media might report it?  Maybe like this -- 

USA Today:  WE'RE DEAD!
The Wall Street Journal:  DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
Microsoft Journal:  APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog:  OUR FINAL SALE
Wired:  THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone:  THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest:  BYE
Discover Magazine:  HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE 
KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
TV Guide:  DEATH AND DAMNATION:  NIELSEN RATINGS SOAR!
Ladies Home Journal:  LOSE 10 LBS WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" 
DIET!
America Online:  SYSTEM TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE.  TRY CALLING 
BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. Magazine:  TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft's Web Site:  IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, 
DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE
Sun:  ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE
Sports Illustrated:  GAME OVER!