Medical Dictionary for the Lexically Challenged


Artery ................ Study of paintings

Bacteria .............. Back door of a cafeteria

Barium ................ What doctors do when a patient dies

Bowel.................. A letter like A,E,I,O,U

Caesarian Section...... A district in Rome

Cataract............... Weird pontoon boat

Cat Scan............... Searching for a Kitty

Cauterize.............. Made eye contact with her

Colic.................. A sheep dog

Coma................... A punctuation mark

Congenital............. Friendly

D & C ................. Where Washington is

Dilate................. To live long

Enema.................. Not a Friend

Fester................. Quicker

Fibula................. Small Lie

Genital................ Non-Jewish

G.I. Series............ Soldier Ball Game

Hangnail............... To Hang Pictures on

Impotent............... Distinguished; well known

Labor Pain............. Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.......... Doctor's Cane

Morbid................. Higher Offer

Nitrate................ Different from Day Rate

Node................... Was aware of

Outpatient............. Person who has fainted

Papsmear............... Fatherhood Test

Pelvis................. Cousin of Elvis

Postoperative.......... Letter Carrier

Prostate............... Flat on your back

Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery

Rectum................. Darn near killed him

Secretion.............. Hiding something

Seizure................ Roman Emperor

Tablet................. Small table

Terminal Illness....... Getting sick at the Airport

Tibia.................. Country in North Africa

Tumor.................. Add a couple more

Urine.................. Opposite of "You're out."

Varicose............... Nearby

Vein................... Conceited