More signs:

On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
"No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

Official sign near door:  Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby:  Window frightened.

HEY, Life is still not fair for the guys...Found in a restaurant 
in England:
Guys:  No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus
    (translation of the Greek):
"Caution: Road Slippery from Grape juice"

MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from 
Johannesburg International Airport into town.
An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down.
The caption reads:
"Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!"
 
Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen 
several years ago:
   Restrooms
    <-----
   Please wait for hostess to seat you.

Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00 pm
Quickies Thursday at  7:30pm.

Seen in a health food store:
"Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic 
carrot"
 
"Children left unattended will be towed at parents' expense."
 
I went to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant:
"Women are not served here...  You have to bring your own."