You Know You've Been Online Too Long When...

 1. You think an obituary says a funeral will be followed by the
    "Internet" in a cemetery.

 2. Someone says she put on net stockings, and you wonder if they're
    made out of World Wide Web.
 
 3. You ask a friend, "What's that big shiny thing? and he says it's 
    the sun.

 4. You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of WEB sites.

 5. You think rec room is a new newsgroup.

 6. When asked for your address on a form, you put @aol.com.

 7. When using your phone you forget that you don't have to use your
    keyboard.

 8. Your mother suggests taking an apple to school, and you wonder how
    you're gonna get the whole thing in your bag.

 9. You think Edgar Alan Poe wrote "The Pit and the Pentium."

10. Someone slips a disk, and you offer to format him another one.

11. You think "intelligent" means a refined computer user.

12. Your boss asks you to "go fer" coffee and you come up with 235 
    FTP sites.