Kids say the darndest things...

- You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit.
If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be
discovered.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let people know they're
there.

- The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets
blamed for a lot of things, like when people forget to put the top on.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be
called a drop, it does.

- Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like
umbrellas.

- Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

- Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I
have never been able to make out the numbers.

- When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are
orbiting.  When people do it, we say they are crazy.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

- A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the
population.

- The future of "I give" is "I take."

- The parts of speech are lungs and air.

- The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

- Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

- (Define H2O and CO2.)  H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

- A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

- The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

- A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing
it through an aviator.

- Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

- The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top
and you sit on the bottom.

- We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our
silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly
constipated authorities.

- One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

- To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until
it drips into the throat.

- The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

- The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

- Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply
religious feelings.

- The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the
top and plural at the bottom.

- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

- The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up
the other.

- In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

- Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

- A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the
winter.