You Need a Tie
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A man goes into a restaurant and asks for a table.

"Sorry sir," the maitre'd says, "you must wear a tie to enter."

The man goes back to his car and looks around, but there's no 
necktie to be found. So he takes his jumper cables, wraps them
around his neck, ties a nice knot, and lets the ends dangle.

He goes back to the restaurant, where the waiter says, "Well, OK, 
you can come in......but don't start anything."