Your Problem ... My Situation

You're ill-tempered.
My nerves are bothering me.

You're prejudiced. 
I happen to be a good judge of human nature.

You use flattery to get your way.
I encourage people.

You are unbearably slow and pokey.
I believe in quality workmanship.

You're a spendthrift.
I'm generous.

You stay in bed until 11 A.M. because you're a 
lazy good-for-nothing.  
I stay in bed a little longer because I'm 
totally exhausted.